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Absolute Healing Blog


Posted in Professional development on 29/05/2017



No, are you really listening?

I am asking you as a lover, a parent, a therapist, a coach, a mediator, a teacher or as a professional adviser; in fact, as a human being: are you really listening to the person in front of you?

Listening is a great art and as with all great art it takes commitment, practice and skill, and when it is achieved it is sublime and it has the power to deeply heal the soul.

It requires you to put aside your ego and meet someone from your heart, dropping any agenda or urge to judge them, to rescue them or to collude with them and to truly hear what they say, feel the pain behind their words, fully see them and give them an accepting space in which to reflect.

When we truly meet our client/partner/child/friend/adversary with love in this way, exactly where they are, we validate them, we give them permission to explore themselves without fear of what they might expose and in so doing we may allow in a little light that gives them some insight into their pain and a little space that may allow a healing shift.

Effective listening is an art that I have been practicing since commencing my homeopathic training some 25 years ago. As a practitioner I had to become a more objective observer of my clients, to see them as they truly were without the filters of my own perception so that I could accurately identify the symptoms they were presenting to me. Now I am no longer using remedies I am free to work without agenda, I would describe it as being fully present with my clients and it is a skill that I will continue to hone, with the acknowledgement that while I still breathe I will never be entirely free of my own ‘stuff’. I have developed the practice of Focussed Mindfulness as a simple, direct and effective tool to support my ongoing personal and professional development in this and I share it with students, supervisees and clients who have similar aspirations to mine.

A concern that is sometimes raised by students is that by listening to our clients we are condoning what we hear, even when this is counter to our own values or those of our culture or country. This is not the case at all: we are simply meeting our client where he or she is, we can put thoughts aside to be addressed when it is our turn to speak, and for now return our attention to them. Shame may have prevented the client from ever really exploring the root of their feelings, and you can provide a welcoming space in which they can do this.

Focussed Mindfulness develops our awareness of ourselves, reveals parts of ourselves that we had been blind to and allows us to address our unconscious judgements, fears and emotional no-go zones so we are ever more present for others. It is an excellent tool for continuing personal and professional development for everyone in a caring, supporting, guiding, mediating or listening role.

Contact me if you would like to explore how Focussed Mindfulness can help you to truly listen.