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Absolute Healing Blog

Do It Decently!

Posted in Divorce and Separation on 07/01/2016

Do It Decently!

Do it Decently!

The New Year is a peak time for people to decide to get divorced or separated. This is a big decision, which is likely to be a traumatic one for everyone, including extended family and especially children so it is very important to do some research and get some trustworthy and level-headed guidance before choosing which route to take. It can be hard to find such advice, which is why I have teamed up with a group of professionals from West and South Yorkshire to create Dovetail Divorce Solutions. Dovetail members work together to keep separations amicable, and out of court.

To make good decisions that will stand you in good stead in the long term it is important to keep things calm and respectful, and focus on the future, and when children are involved, it is vital to put their needs first.

 Courtroom litigation is almost always an expensive, lengthy and emotionally traumatic option. An amicable divorce has far more flexibility, with a much better prospect of a fair outcome for both parties, and those involved can work towards a settlement that suits the whole family – rather than having a judge impose one.

When deciding your best route to divorce ask yourself: 

Do you need to keep the costs as low as possible, but need the support of a lawyer to ensure that you are both getting a fair deal and so that an agreement will be legally binding?

Do you want guidance from a professional who is skilled at keeping negotiations calm and respectful and committed to keeping things out of court so you can stay in control of the outcome? 

Do you want advisors, who are not emotionally involved, to make sure the interests of the children stay central to the decision making process, and help you to maintain a courteous relationship with your ex,  so you can work together to parent your children in the long term?

Dovetail is a team of professionals who work together, who are all committed to nurturing a respectful relationship between you and your ex-partner, keeping the interests of your children and other close family members at the heart of the discussion and supporting you to build foundations for a positive future. They will discuss with you which route to divorce such as round table discussions, mediation, collaboration or arbitration might best suit your circumstances.

One of Dovetail's memebrs, hlw Keeble Hawson family lawyer and chair of South Yorkshire Resolution, Vanessa Fox, advises: “Working towards a solution together is a much better way than ‘going to war’, as keeping things calm and respectful allows you to focus on the future, which is vital for wellbeing, particularly if children are involved.”

“Each partner still has legal advisors and other professionals working to ensure their best interests, but they are also advised frankly what a realistic expectation might be, based on their circumstances, so they can understand what a reasonable settlement will look like.”

Go to to find a member near you.

Or give me a call and I will help you choose 07984115927.